I sat here tonight trying to think of a topic worth bringing to the table. I'd considered various themes including abuse, violence, assaults and finally power. What surfaced next was ...
EMPOWERED!
To empower is to give someone the authority or power to do something...and that is a beautiful thing. But to be...
EMPOWERED,
now that is magnificent.
Being empowered means saying...
My looks, my intelligence, my quirky sense of humor, none of that matters if upon entering a relationship I abdicate all my power to choose to say NO to behavior that is unacceptable or damaging to my well being.
Being empowered means saying...
You will not take advantage, abuse or violate me...not without a fight and a damn good one too.
Being empowered means saying...
You will respect me as a human being should be respected and nothing less will be accepted, especially because "you" deem me as undeserving or unworthy.
Being empowered means...
Knowing that my place is where I choose to be and nowhere else.
Being empowered means...
I am not a controversy only you insist that I be!
C O N T R O V E R S Y *)
My existence is controversial, long before I knew it existed... My being seems hexed and twisted and it tests my will to be me... What should become of my life now, should it too become estranged and bleak? It puzzles me…all of society and what it thinks of me...
Should I be docile or without mind to contribute, my views, my ideas or my plans? Are my visions so blurred and delusional any more than the average mans? Have I not proven my worthiness, on the ground, in the air and the Quran? Woman was created by the Most Supreme Being so my existence cannot be wrong... I am right here, I am proud, I am strong.
This is my life, my time and my show and I’ll very much do as I please... Stop thinking for me like I’m twisted... as you are by degrees. You’re a man, a bully and a fool by default should you believe that I cannot succeed. So you keep your games and your puzzles; and your silly thoughts of me... but remember this one thing please. While you pretend Boxer, Soldier and Important, I will live, I will grow and I will breathe!
They puzzle me--men and their societies thinking they know what is best for me. I am priceless, progressive and unstoppable and my “Place” is...
wherever...
I’ll be...
Do dare to answer my next simple question
Why Am I The Controversy?
by Celita S.
About Me
- Mecca Ali
- The box is too small to respond to this but I will share this, I ROCK and I LOVE LIFE AND ESPECIALLY ME! I love...my family, people, CHESS, dogs, shopping, JEANS & t-shirts, COWBOY BOOTS and learning. I love PLAYS, WRITING poetry as well as listening/watching spoken word performances. Performed for the 1st time at Rider's first On Fire debut!
9 comments:
Celita S said...
Jason, classmate and fellow 2005 alumni...I am sorry I missed this. You have made a statement and point that many women would be ashamed to respond to (which is not the reason I have only responded at this particular time). Many women, and it is sad to say present company included, are not conscientiously aware that they made a best friend out of this kind of guy instead of making him a mate. When they do realize it, it becomes awkward. I am guilty of that myself.
Other times, a woman might say something to the tune of...OMG he is too sweet or he is such a nice guy blah, blah, blah never thinking he is the right guy...for themselves... as though they are undeserving of the nice or too sweet guy. That, I too am guilty of. I can be rough territory! My independence and matter of fact state of mind...as well as mouth...places distance between me and love interests even the nice guy. So, the nice guy is reserved for the best friend position because so many relationships can be superficial and quick ending. Women don't want to place unnecessary risk on losing the nice guys genuine friendship.
Some women feel they need a more assertive, take charge kind of guy, not knowing they often end up with a nitwit. That nitwit equals to men who feel a particular woman is too aggressive misconstrue and are intimidated by her intuitiveness or assertive goandgetitness and find it unattractive. This by the way is the nitwit I'm talking about in this same paragraph or did I mention that. When you get right down to it ...the men who think like that are shallow, insecure and often lack self esteem and women who date this kind of man lack the same thing in a reverse kind of way. They dummy up or down as they say so they will be liked which has got to be quite boring.
As for you, stay exactly the way that you are. You are a diamond in the rough and that is very much the bomb!
Wow... I think it takes more than a second for all of that to really sink into someone's brain. You create the ever so needed controversy because you refuse to ever let anyone think or try to tell you that you are nothing less than equal as everyone else in this world..man or woman. I pity the fool that tries to mess with you or convince you that you are not worth everything that you know you are, because they will quickly be defeated by you no doubt. You will never let anyone take advantage of you or your confidence as a woman which is a beautiful awesome thing. Just by reading that I can definitely tell that you are one hell of an empowered woman and I think that is absolutely amazing. More women need to have confidence like you do, they could learn alot from you. Too many women do not stick up for themself and let others talk them down and into thinking that they are not good enough or cannot do something as well as a man could. This is nonsense because it is all about the inside of the person and their drive, not the physical characteristics of their body. I hope all of the females in this class get to read this post, and even the males as well. This is a good reminder for everyone as they go through daily life and socialize with others in their personal and professional lives.
Celita,
This was a very important subject and you explored it very well. To me empowerment means having the confidence and presence of mind to be an individual with your own ideas and vision for your self and creating your place in the world and society. Not being pushed around or having someone else tell you what to do or how to act. Letting people know that you are a unique individual and that your opinions and the way you express yourself is just as important as anyone else on this earth.
Very well thought out and explained, thank you.
Glenn
Celita S said...
Hi Tiff,
I am floored by the names of those books. It sounds like an oxy moron kind of title (fat female dog) because it does not seem as though these women are skinny at all but is how they are being referred. The women who purchase these books have issues other than eating.
The title is being used as a bait & switch. I have heard the word Bitch often used as a term of endearment so this does not surprise me. Here however, I believe it is a way for the overweight women to be the in-group and ostracize petite women by degrading them the title...Skinny Bitch...ok so let's name a book after them. Duh! I don't get it either.
Just to side step a bit, I am a size 2. I have been called a "skinny bitch" quite a few times. As an adolescent and young adult my patience and size has been tested on several occasions, resting a thought on my size 0 at the time. It was and still is annoying. Especially when I know that endearment thing I mentioned is nowhere to be found. If I'm not in the mood I explain how aggravating and equally upsetting it is to be called names period. When I'm not in the mood and am in one that no one really wants to be in with me I say...Green is not your color! These women do not understand that being called a skinny bitch is as intense and equally as hurtful as being called any other name. When they finally gather that I am offended of course the apology follows but the damage is done and I am already upset. I further advise them, my size does not validate who I am and I am not interested in their self objectification and pity and that they should be proactive about their health and welfare, not reactive.
May 30, 2008 12:31 AM
Celita,
This is a wonderful and powerful post. To me, it sounds like a little bit of poetry... :)
Beautiful.
I really don't know what to say to this. I think that women need to embrace the wonderful feeling of empowerment. A lot of women probably lack that and that could cause a lot of troubles and problems for them.
I agree with Ashleigh that you are a very empowered. Anyone who messes with you would cause controversy on their own! You are so strong and what you wrote definitely proved everything. I have all the respect in the world for you.
I’m speechless!!! I wish my nine year old could read this so she could learn from my mistakes and women in general. Your post hit deep…I feel like crying..I’m actually crying. This is so poetic you describe the inside of accumulated anger in many women or men. There are a lot of men who are treated this way. I was having a discussion about this subject this week with professional women who decided to stay home with their children and after X years their husband under estimate, put down, don’t bother to discuss or don’t respect their opinion once their locked in a Mac Mansion. Women are starting to notice the insecurities of the world, media, religion…Etc.
Nicely done!!!
Celita S said...
Hi Tom,
And I hope I've done this correctly. I think the reaction of your female friends had more to do with their sisterly/motherly/nurturing/ love/make sure Tom is not being taken advantage of/affection for you but also agree that gifts like that could possibly be misconstrued. Sending a message of seriousness was said when you went out to buy anything. When you went into a jewelry store to boot...Yes, that is another level. lol! I think it was a bit extravagant for two months but that is because I am pretty old fashioned, considering the way I was raised. My family had a problem with big or expensive gifts. They (gifts) are asking for something my mother would say.
I had been hanging out with a guy for about a month. I met him a year ago so it wasn't like he was a total stranger but there weren't any sparks so he'd infinitely live in friend zone. When he asked me what I wanted for my birthday I replied a 10 carat tennis bracelet. Well, on my birthday he produced a box that had a 2 carat tennis bracelet. I was floored! It was an extremely nice gesture but I refused it. I was only kidding about the 10 carat bracelet.
I explained that I did not want any mixed emotions about his present and I did not want to feel that it meant anything more than it was supposed to...simply a gift. I did this because I knew he was sweeter on me than I was on him and I did not want to take his gift and have him expect more from me than I could give. I asked him to treat me to Dave & Buster's. He did and we have been good friends since. For his birthday the same year I gave him two tickets to a sixer game. Ok, so they weren't courtside, more like in the middle of the tier. I told him before he asked, I do not want to go so he would not feel obligated. He laughed but understood. No strings.
I still think it was best that I refused his gift. Men & women do communicate differently and desire each other in different ways too. Every guy I meet is not the HERB I'm looking for.
June 3, 2008 2:03 PM
Now I know why the blog is called Malis Mind. Empowerment was a wonderful topic to post. Beautifully stated! Now, continue to put it into action!
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